Note: This is a recreation of my very first post on Blogger back in 2010.
| What She Says | What It Actually Means | Survival Advice |
|---|---|---|
| “Fine.” | The argument is over, she is right, and you need to stop talking immediately. | Do not say another word. |
| “Five minutes.” | If she’s getting ready, it means 45 minutes. If you’re playing a game, it means 30 seconds. | Put the controller down. |
| “Nothing.” | It is definitely something. You have done something wrong, and you should already know what it is. | High alert. Prepare your defense. |
| “Go ahead.” | This is not permission. This is a dare. A trap has been set. | Under no circumstances should you go ahead. |
| “That’s okay.” | It is entirely not okay. She is calculating when and how you will pay for this. | Apologize now, even if you don’t know why. |
| “Loud Sigh” | A non-verbal declaration that you are hopeless and she is questioning her life choices. | Do not ask “what’s wrong.” Refer back to “Nothing.” |
| “Thanks.” | Genuine appreciation. | Say “you’re welcome” and don’t overthink it. |
| “Thanks a lot.” | Pure sarcasm. You have failed completely. | Do not say “you’re welcome” unless you want another “Fine.” |
| “Don’t worry about it, I’ll do it myself.” | You were asked four times to do it, and now you are in deep trouble. | Step in immediately, but brace for the Loud Sigh. |
| “We need to talk.” | You have roughly ten seconds to get your affairs in order. | Rest in peace. |